Caroline Myss is guiding me through the universal language

And it all sounds true to me

Caroline Myss posits that our souls underpin everything we do in life. We all have soul archetypes that govern the way we function in the world. These are not static positions, but ebb and flow according to “where we are” in evolution–although sometimes we get “stuck” in an archetype, we resist changing into another archetype, or we let the fundamental archetypes handicap us in some way. I’ll explain that. I’ve only just begun listening to The Language of Archetypes: Discover the Forces that Shape Your Destiny. Basically, Myss proposes that there are 12 fundamental archetypes that we all engage with in our lifetimes. She starts the lecture with four highly prevalent ones, the survival archetypes: child, victim, prostitute, and saboteur. The child appears in three different ways, and sometimes we experience a combination, not just one: wounded child, child of nature, and magical child. The victim archetype is about exploring boundaries and how we protect our souls, whether by keeping our soul to ourselves and keeping others from interfering with it. The prostitute archetype is about compromise and safety. Finally, there is the saboteur archetype, which can show up as laziness, exhaustion, and fear. But, she says, even the negative archetypes are there to teach us. Each time we challenge the saboteur, for instance, we build the strength of our soul and improve our stamina. Each time we establish a boundary and don’t let others tamper with a course we know to be right for us, we reinforce our souls on the path of our destiny. Destiny, too, is very different from fate, she says! Fate is what happens when we let the saboteur or the prostitute win; destiny is what happens when we trust the soul and let magic in. Next in the hierarchy of archetypes, according to Myss, there is the “royal family” and the “shadow family,” but for now I am engrossing myself in a thorough understanding of the “survival family.” Myss recommends that we practice noticing the archetypes in daily life. Notice them in your thoughts and how you interact with others. Notice buzzwords like “always” and “never.” When someone says “you always/never do this,” or when you say to someone, “you always/never do that,” flag it in your mind. One thing I “always” did until I became aware of it was let my anger burst out and then withdraw. I think that’s the “wounded child,” feeling misunderstood and frustrated, and after the tantrum, there is shame and remorse, prompting a retreat into myself. I “never” could find a way to talk about my feelings in a mature way because I was stuck in the “wounded child” mentality. What if I were to practice doing something I “never” did and also practice not doing what I “always” did? Myss points out that when we go against our “saboteur” instincts (to “have a drink” or eat some cheesecake instead of exercising, for example) we are building stamina in our souls. Another thing to practice is non-judgement. “The judge” is so reflexive. We judge others constantly, so quickly and so reflexively that we hardly notice it. Sometimes I judge myself in comparison to others and then feel jealous; on the flip side, sometimes I feel superior. Both attitudes are unhelpful and start with one judgemental thought. But what if I practice catching myself when I do it, and replace it with understanding? Become the listener, and tell the “Judge” to go away? Don’t offer advice, don’t start telling this person how to solve the problem or make it better. Just listen. Who knows what you might hear if you actually start listening?! There are all kinds of secondary archetypes that pop in. They sneak in, often undercutting our relationships—personal and professional. But before I could even begin to know them all, I need to practice noticing the ones that pop up in my life, and how to balance them out. If you find yourself stirring in the “wounded child” thoughts, pick up a book that brings out your “magical child.” For me, there are many stories that do that for me, Harry Potter for one. The characters in these books were always “wounded children” who learned to recognize and harness the power of the magic in their lives. Myss suggests that you might try writing your own kids’ book if you are so inclined, but importantly, she recommends writing it for you, not writing it to please others. I agree with this: if you don’t write the story you want to write, you might as well not do it at all because it won’t be authentic, and if it is not authentic no one will be pleased by it anyway. If you aren’t inclined to write or even read books, maybe you are more of a “child of nature,” or maybe there is some other creative activity that can bring your “wounded child” into a magical space: gardening, weaving, whatever. If it’s fun and it makes you happy, that’s the point.

The Language of Archetypes: Discover the Forces that Shape Your Destiny, by Caroline Myss is an audiobook that I’m listening to on the Libby app (libbyapp.com) using my East Baton Rouge library card. You can buy it from Amazon if you want to. Whether you borrow it or pay for it, that’s up to you. I’m in grad school to be a librarian (I graduate in May this year) and I’m just really passionate about encouraging people to use local libraries. Libraries rock!